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永遠都不晚

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE

Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there were always some brave souls in the crowd who would volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list. The instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communication.

The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered his story:

“While making my list, I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was an officer in town that none of us kids liked. One night, my two friends and I decided to play a trick on Officer Clarke. After drinking a few beers, we found a can of red paint, climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town, and wrote, on the tank, in bright red letters: Officer Clarke is an s.o.b. The next day, the town all saw our glorious sign. Within two hours, Officer Clarke had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.

“Nearly 20 years later, Officer Clarke’s name appears on my list. I didn’t even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Clarke still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard: ‘Hello,’ I said, ‘Officer Clarke?’ Pause. ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it.’ Pause. ‘I knew it!’ he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a lively discussion. His closing words were: ‘Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your friends got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me...for your sake.’”

Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it’s never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.

【日積月累】

◇s.o.b 畜生，狗娘養的(=Son Of a Bitch)

◇confess v. 坦白，承認

◇springboard n. 跳板

◇mediator n. 調停者，中介物，傳遞者

◇resolution n. 決心，正式決定

【參考譯文】

永遠都不晚

幾年以前，我參加了一門交流課程，從而有了一次很不尋常的經歷。老師叫我們把過去感到羞恥、愧疚、遺憾或不完美的事情列出來。第二周，他請學員把自己的單子念出來。這似乎是很私人的事，但是里面就是有些勇敢的人自告奮勇。隨著一位又一位念出自己的單子，我自己的單子越列越長。三周后，我已經列了101件。然后老師叫我們想辦法賠禮道歉，或者采取行動改正原來的過錯。我很懷疑這種做法對我的交流有任何提高。

接下來的一周，坐我旁邊的那位男士舉起了手，說出了他的故事。

“當我在列表的時候，我想起高中時發生的一件事。我在愛荷華州一個小鎮長大。鎮上有個警官，我們小孩沒一個喜歡他。一天晚上，我和我的朋友決定開克拉克警官一個玩笑。幾杯啤酒下肚，我們找到一罐紅漆，然后爬上位于小鎮中心的大水塔，在上面用鮮紅的字寫道：克拉克警官是個狗娘養的。第二天，全鎮的人都看到了我們留下的鮮艷標志。不到兩個小時，克拉克警官就把我們幾個帶到了他的辦公室。我的朋友們承認了，但是我撒謊說沒這回事。沒人發現。

“大約20年后，警官的名字出現在我單子上。我甚至不知道他是否還活著。上周我打電話到遠在愛荷華州故鄉的咨詢臺。結果一查還真有個羅杰·克拉克。我撥下他的號碼，幾聲鈴聲后，我聽到：‘喂？’我問，‘是克拉克警官嗎？’他沉默片刻后說：‘沒錯。’‘嗯，我是吉米·卡爾金。我來告訴你那事是我干的。’沉默一會兒之后，他說道：‘我就知道。’我們都笑了起來，還快活地談了很久。最后他說：“吉米，我一直為你擔心，因為你的朋友當時就把這事從心里上卸了下來，而你卻一直背負著它。謝謝你為了成為更好的自己而打電話給我。’”

吉米的故事激發我去逐一清空我單子上羅列的101件事，為此我花了將近兩年時間，但是它也作為沖突協調器在事業上一直激發我。不管矛盾、危機或局面多么的糟糕，我總是記得：下定決心還自己一個干凈的過去，什么時候開始都不晚。

【人生啟迪】

對于說謊的人來說，只有“誠實”這一良劑才能讓他們恢復脈絡通暢。說謊其實是自我折磨的一件事，事后那種內疚和不安將不斷困擾你。做一個誠實的人，才能做個心理健康的人。